What if you got pregnant before your marriage?

It's finally our big day after so much of preparation !
I admit that I was '' pregnant '' first before married.
Thank God that my mom and dad approved us and love our dear pika.
And everything started to plan.

It's a quite complicated changing of this and that.
Many quarrels because of financial issues.

All sorts.

My and my BH was not prepared.

So here is some of my advice & tips JUST IN CASE 
if you gotten into my shoes.

Just remember to stay positive.
I have many negative thoughts when I was pregnant. 
So just try to be as happy as possible.

So I'll actually list out what we do and how we do.

1.Take care of your body first.
When we first knew that I was pregnant to Pika. * Before Ultrasound Checking & pregnancy test.
My BH started buying Mother's Milk for me .
I can't recall how much is it but less than RM10 - It was at the clearance site at Aeon. 
Nestle brand.

My opinion : ONCE you know you are not having your period for a month.
High percentage you are pregnant if your menstrual cycle is normal.


2. NEVER do abortion and tell your parents.
Tell your parents . 
Even if you are scared - just tell . You will be happy if they are the first person to know.
As they raised you well until how old you are.
They have rights to know because they love you!

At first me and my BH was nervous , but he is already a man ,.
I told him that we shouldn't drag this any further as they are my beloved ones.

So he took his guts and told my parents.

Dad was calm & mom was shocked .

Because we both planned to marry next year.

3.Planning for Pre-Wedding Shooting
I always have a creative thought of how to shoot for my pre-wedding.
All sorts like wearing Yukata, wearing Chinese Ancient Princess and etc.

When comes to actual wedding **if you have enough budget there's nothing wrong
But me and my BH there's no budget.

All I think was having a friend as photographer is GOOD.
We just rent wedding gown & take photo.

So we walked in to a Bridal Studio and asked the price if renting a gown.
The shop owner told me to rent a gown for photo shooting would be RM600+ per gown.

And suggest us to take her Pre-wedidng package which is RM1988.
RM1988 considered budget.
And the best can be paid 3 times! Deposit of RM800 of gown & accessories - fully returned on actual wedding day.

Previously I told my BH I would like a Taiwan trip + Pre-Wedding Shoot .
Compare to one of our wedding fair prices it was RM6988. Not included air ticket.

So in a very stressed & budget situation.
We chosen the package from the Bridal Studio.

We walked to few bridal studios around Bandar Baru Klang, but they look very very busy and no time to entertain or serve us. So we decided to look for others until we found French Kisss Bridal.
Sam was the owner of French Kisses Bridal.


I will post the packages here & photos.

4.Discuss with your parents / elders.
We always have that :
I want to do this that way!
No way I am going to do this!
This is Bull Shit!

No matter if you are Chinese , Indian , Malay try listen to your parents what should be follow and what shouldn't be doing .

I am lucky that my parents did gave me a way where some traditions we did not do and some we did.

Still listen to them.

5. Planning for Wedding Ceremonies or Wedding Dinner.
This is actually depends on budget & parents.
I actually prefer western buffet style, my BH wants travel wedding - take the money to go for honey,
my parents want Chinese wedding dinner.

6.Just control your emotions & mood and prepare for the big day!
After so many happened, I realize it was financial problem bringing us on tears , arguments &  disappointments.
But thank God all was perfectly runs smooth as planned.
Our ang pow money covers all wedding dinner expenses .
And BH had settled some of his credit card payments with our ang pows.
No stress~
and we took a little budget on our honeymoon!

RM300 for honeymoon! Check our my post soon!



My personal experience:
**This might not happened to everyone**

1.Don't get overacting on conclusions and discussions.
I get really sad and angry when only on discussions as I over thinking.
Try make yourself happy by doing something else.
It's not healthy for baby.

2.You will never know when you will get married. Saving first.
I do understand nowadays some young girls or singles spend like ... wooohhhh....
But save a little for yourself is always good.

3.During your pregnancy months, try to rest.
Rest doesn't mean stop doing stuff.
You  can still do , but still follow some tradition like '' don't cut something on your bed '' etc.
Make your mind get busy but don't over thinking.

4.Don't sad if your friends getting away from you.
It happened to me ever since I got pregnant, I lost 2 of my best friends, 2 of my bridesmaid to be.
It's quite sad when I talk about it . 
But remember , you still have friends that cares for you. Don't go for people that wouldn't care for you.

One true thing, a real friend will tell you the truth and NOT HURTING YOU or LEAVING YOU.
*If they left you. That's the end of friendship. Because they are not worth for you to care.

5.Family First.
Your mom or dad may be nagging and repeating some of your mistakes. But something true about them , they will never leave you alone to handle your marriage. 
You are their lovely daughter, they raised your so many years. Do you think they would not see you walking along with your BH along the hallways?

If you think -YES.

You definitely overthinking.
Parents will not act that childish , just because some incident happened and not attending your wedding.
Why are we calling them parents? 
Because they raise us?

My personal opinion : Even parents are elder , but something they are wrong too. Depends on what situation. They are our parents because we have fate and meant for each other.


So if they are not turning up, something is wrong.


No parents wouldn't bless their daughters/son.


But definitely not your problem , you husband & your child.

5.Be positive!
I know life can be up and down.
Be positive! Because you are having a baby! 
And baby loves you , he/she chose you because you are the ONE.

**The above are totally true about me. And no brags about it .

I am not supporting for getting pregnant before marriage among teenagers.
I am 24 this year.

Just in case you stepped in my shoes.


Good luck.

Comments

  1. Take care of your health,
    keep feeding your body with nutritious food
    do not be stressed
    Hopefully babies born with healthy body

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  2. You are very lucky to have supportive and open-minded parents. A lot of people I know don't have it this good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agreed with you that we must tell our parents first. Congrats to you and you had made the right choice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was pregnant before marriage like you. My family was supportive too.

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  5. yeah better tell parents about it.
    my sis was preg and nobody know after so many years another sis say she had abortion.

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  6. I got pregnant and was not married. I am a single mom. I enjoy my motherhood journey because I know that my family supports me 100% only your family will support, love and accept you for who you are.

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  7. I agree with your point. I think the important people around this time is family and the men itself. They have to help and support each other :)

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  8. I enjoy reading your advice until the end hee take care of your health and baby. :)

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  9. Take good care of yourself ya. Don't carry heavy thing. Expecting is a miracle thing.

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  10. Yes, it is definitely good to stay positive no matter the situation because things will eventually work out. Take care of your health and its a good read on your advices :)

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  11. Things happen and to be truth I was also pregnant before marriage.. my eldest daughter.. but we got married with family support anyway.. no one is perfect... The most important is to stay strong and love yourself

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  12. Take good care of yourself & cheer up. I feel that it is normal at our generation to get preg before marriage as alot of friend's of mine does so as well. Congrats for having a baby babe!

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  13. Now this is interesting topic. this is happening everyday. nice post

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  14. Your family really understanding your situation. Luckily there are open mind. But for our race. It quite disaster . Hope you live happily ever after.

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